Writings by Diane

The following is the Tall Tale speech I delivered and won at the Area level Toastsmasters International competition . Enjoy!! Jerome McCormick is an inventor who lives in a town a stone’s throw from Bliss ID. His latest invention is a powerful laser that will write messages on the moon. He will market it to companies that want to advertise on a global scale. When this invention was in prototype mode, he asked his friend, Billy Gleam, to help him test it. Billy promptly wrote, “Will you marry me, Denise?” on the surface of the moon. Denise, his girlfriend of, was so taken by this grand gesture that she immediately said yes.  After they married, this message is still on the moon, so each full moon, Billy shuts down the one main street to reenact his proposal to Denise. Jerome wishes he could be this grand with the love of his life, Elizabeth Sooner.  What’s not to love about Elizabeth? She is the kindest, gentlest person in the town. Even the animal kingdom knew this. Wh...

For a few years now, I have heard the Country Western song by Craig Morgan “International Harvester.” Being from the city (Santa Monica CA and Las Vegas NV)  I had no idea what an International Harvester was. In fact it took a few listening of the song to figure that it was about farm equipment.  The gist of it is it’s about a farmer who is unapologetic for slowing down traffic. To quote the singer: “cussing at me won’t save you no time, Hoss!”  Some of the lyrics sounded like foreign words to me (County 4-H, combine driver??) Later on, when I would hear the first notes of the song on the radio, I would switch to another channel, I couldn't relate to it at all. That is until I moved to the rural community of Middleton ID. There is an abundance of farm equipment on the spring time highways that you share the road. Crop sprayers, threshers and tractors abound during the morning commute. It was somewhat unsettling to me since I was only used to seeing cars, tr...

There I was sitting at the area speech competition for Toastmasters International , waiting for my turn. A few minutes ago, I had just received news that the Tall Tale speech that I had practiced at my club to rave reviews, was too long. At the practice run, I had clocked in at 6 minutes, 4 seconds, which was great when I thought the speech was supposed to be 5-7 minutes long. However, I was just informed by the competition official time keepers that the Tall Tale speech is 3-5 minutes.   Currently the speech I had prepared for was over by 1 minute 4 seconds, instant disqualification. There were two other gentlemen that were in the Tall Tale Competition as well.  The first man started pacing back and forth quietly lamenting that he thought he had 5-7 minutes as well to give his speech. The other man confidently announced, “That’s what I planned for!”  He reminded me of Sergeant Harvey Walden IV from Celebrity Fit Club .  This former Marine sergeant was alwa...

A few years ago I was on my way to work at a temporary labor and office agency.  I was walking down a flight of stairs and my mind was completely occupied. I was thinking about the day ahead of me—what positions were needing to be filled, and how many interviews would be generated from the want ads placed in that Sunday’s newspaper. I was going into work mode, complete with a serious façade. A man was walking up the stairs in the opposite direction. I barely noticed him, until he stopped on the stair and said to me with a bright smile “Good morning, I’m thinking this and I’m just going to say it -- you look nice today!” He said this without being salacious, and he seemed genuine.  I smiled in return and kept heading down the stairs. I looked at the dress I was wearing, a bold red striped dress, one of my favorites. I was touched that he made a sweet compliment. Throughout that whole day, no matter what pressures were at the office, I had an inward smile due to his kind w...

Months ago, after watching the news about the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary , I was definitely shaken up. I was brokenhearted when I learned that the principle heard the gunshots and ran out unarmed to protect the kids. I was deeply saddened to see the reports of the children ending their brief lives in the classrooms. Then, other reports began to emerge—ones of heroic teachers helping their class escape the bedlam. Then there were other inspiring reports of teachers having the presence of mind to barricade themselves with their class. These brave teachers kept the children calm, insisting that the “good guys” would come and kept their spirits up by singing songs.  Since I’m a parent, the instant I heard of this horrible news, I’m not ashamed to say I had to fight the overwhelming urge to hold my son out of school the next day.  Try as I might, this nagging question “What if this happened to my child?” scratched and clawed at my brain, insisting on being answered. I f...

Each year I dread the first day of winter-- I have never been a big fan of the cold. I attribute it to being born where the weather was pretty much sunny and 74 degrees. Just like in the move LA Story , Santa Monica’s weather is sunny and breezy, the winters very mild. I seriously don’t remember having a large winter coat—a lined windbreaker was able to ward off the cold. When we moved to Las Vegas, we experienced hot and dry climate. We would replace our windshield wipers because they were so sun damaged that they would rot off! When winter came, it arrived with no warning. Around October, one day the weather was normal and the next day—WHAM! A cold snap hit the valley, dropping at least 20 degrees! A few Januarys ago, when I was a Junior at UNLV in January, classes literally stopped when it started to snow.  Granted, it only lasted a few hours and probably the technical term is a dusting, but it was the most amount of snow we had ever seen! Now living in Idaho makes me real...

Years ago when my son was an infant, nighttime feedings were really popular at our house, especially at 1 am.  It would have been enjoyable to sit and listen to the silence if I hadn't been so dead tired. The padded rocking chair was dangerously too comfortable as I sat there with my infant son feeding him his bottle. After he finished his formula, I held him against my shoulder and rubbed his small back, waiting for his contented noise (read burp) to let me know he was ready go back to blessed slumber.  However, the awaited noise came, but his bright, blue eyes stared back at me, no sign of going back to sleep.                 I figured this was a good time to sing a lullaby to him, a nice quiet song, not a toe-tapping Broadway melody. Besides, I was still in my pajamas.                 I had read many artic...