Skip to main content

Create your own mantra


For the first few years of my son starting school were very challenging to say the least. Due to his Asperger’s Syndrome, sitting quietly in a classroom was extremely difficult for him.  Many a time were my husband and/or myself called by the teacher with our son’s latest issues—not participating in class, or having a meltdown because things weren't going his way. After a while, my husband came up with a mantra for our son:
  • Be good
  • Listen to the teacher
  • No fits
  • No crying
  • Do the activities
Each morning before our son went on the school bus, he was told this mantra. Soon, he was able to repeat it. After a few months, the calls from the teacher stopped. We learned in the parent teacher conference that our son was performing much better.  We told her the mantra and by doing so, she was able to remind our son if he was going off-task.
I was so impressed by our son’s transformation that I decided that everyone should have a mantra. It had to be easy to remember, inspire to take action and able to apply to everyday life.  The mantra I came up with is:
Silence is acceptance
I developed it from an experience I had a few months ago. Trying to figure out what was medically wrong with my husband felt like an insurmountable challenge. We had visited many doctors who hadn't fully diagnosed him yet and he was still in agony.
 I was on the phone with one of the nurses following up on his visit with his latest symptom of the back of his head felt like it was on fire. She casually relayed the message that he could take ibuprofen for pain.  At that point, I had had enough of being quiet and listening to the experts.  I completely lost my cool. I screamed “Ibuprofen?! The doctor recommends ibuprofen?! My husband’s on Norco for pain and he still can’t sleep!!”
The nurse said she would follow up with the doctor. I figured with my outburst the nurse wouldn't call back and would mark his file as trouble with a rude wife! It took me completely by surprise when the nurse called back minutes later with a prescription for a medication. When my husband took his new medicine he actually was able to lay his head on the pillow and sleep for the first time in months.  I was pretty impressed that this outburst actually got results, because I didn’t accept it and be silent about it.
Every day is an opportunity for my mantra to be used.  If something doesn't ring right or if I have a question, I speak up respectfully.
Though my son’s mantra was geared to school, he can tweak it to other aspects of his life. For instance, as he gets older, he can change it to: Be good, listen to your boss or better still, Be good, listen to your wife!   

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What’s your top ten?

Lately, I have been watching many top ten lists on You Tube.  It started with viewing watchmojo.com  with my teenage son.  We shout out what we think should be number one best video game or worst villain. He has been inspired since then to create his own countdowns. I have also stumbled across Matthew Santoro’s channel  and his show has also been added as a favorite.   Back in my day, top 10 lists were relegated to the David Letterman Show .  Now, I can watch as many top 10 lists as I please.  Yea, technology!! Taking a queue from my son, below is my countdown to my top 10 reasons why I watch Top 10 Lists: 10. The facts are listed in short tidbits that you don’t feel overwhelmed and able to retain the information.   For instance, I learned that we share a considerable amount of our DNA with bananas. Therefore, I have concluded it’s not a big insult to call someone a “banana”.  9. Goodness knows I have turned on YouTube during ...

All that camouflage!

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Project Runway . I find it fascinating that the designers can look at a piece of fabric and envision a sassy or an innovative dress. I get a real kick out of Tim Gunn and his signature catch phrase, “Make it work!” as he critiques the competing designers. I have often used this phrase in some of my parenting skills. A few years ago, my husband mentioned he wanted to try his hand at fly fishing, but didn't have waders. It was a few days before his birthday, so I figured Perfect! That’s what I would get him! At the time, he worked weekends; on the Saturday before his birthday, I took our son, who was seven at the time, to Sportsman’s Warehouse . This store is huge, packed tightly full of every sort of camping, hunting and fishing gear imaginable.  What I didn't know, but became painfully aware as soon as we entered, was in the middle of the store, they have on display a life-like wilderness scene. To complete this display was many taxi...

Found: a change of perspective

There have been times I've been searching for a lost item—be it my car keys or my shoes—I can’t find it for the life of me. I tear the house apart, and doggedly quiz my family (Are you sure you didn't see them? Really, really?) After a fruitless search, I feel very frustrated, throw my hands up and quit looking. After a while, I retrace my steps--I do need to find these items, especially if I’m heading out the door! Inevitably, I find the item only when I search differently. For instance, when looking for my car keys, if I dug my hand through my purse, I now need to dump all of the contents out.  If I've been looking underneath the bed for my shoes from the left hand side, I switch to the right. It got me thinking how this new approach is relative to life experiences. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in looking at a problem one way that with a fresh pair of eyes, it can be view as an opportunity. For example, a fender bender is a tragedy when it occurs. The look of the ...