Create your own mantra

For the first few years of my son starting school were very challenging to say the least. Due to his Asperger’s Syndrome, sitting quietly in a classroom was extremely difficult for him.  Many a time were my husband and/or myself called by the teacher with our son’s latest issues—not participating in class, or having a meltdown because things weren't going his way. After a while, my husband came up with a mantra for our son:

• Be good
• Listen to the teacher
• No fits
• No crying
• Do the activities

Each morning before our son went on the school bus, he was told this mantra. Soon, he was able to repeat it. After a few months, the calls from the teacher stopped. We learned in the parent teacher conference that our son was performing much better.  We told her the mantra and by doing so, she was able to remind our son if he was going off-task.

I was so impressed by our son’s transformation that I decided that everyone should have a mantra. It had to be easy to remember, inspire to take action and able to apply to everyday life.  The mantra I came up with is:

Silence is acceptance

I developed it from an experience I had a few months ago. Trying to figure out what was medically wrong with my husband felt like an insurmountable challenge. We had visited many doctors who hadn't fully diagnosed him yet and he was still in agony.

 I was on the phone with one of the nurses following up on his visit with his latest symptom of the back of his head felt like it was on fire. She casually relayed the message that he could take ibuprofen for pain.  At that point, I had had enough of being quiet and listening to the experts.  I completely lost my cool. I screamed “Ibuprofen?! The doctor recommends ibuprofen?! My husband’s on Norco for pain and he still can’t sleep!!”

The nurse said she would follow up with the doctor. I figured with my outburst the nurse wouldn't call back and would mark his file as trouble with a rude wife! It took me completely by surprise when the nurse called back minutes later with a prescription for a medication. When my husband took his new medicine he actually was able to lay his head on the pillow and sleep for the first time in months.  I was pretty impressed that this outburst actually got results, because I didn’t accept it and be silent about it.

Every day is an opportunity for my mantra to be used.  If something doesn't ring right or if I have a question, I speak up respectfully.

Though my son’s mantra was geared to school, he can tweak it to other aspects of his life. For instance, as he gets older, he can change it to: Be good, listen to your boss or better still, Be good, listen to your wife!