Last week I lit a candle for my mother in law, who passed away after suffering through a few different illnesses. I am grateful we went to visit her last month when she was coherent and we were able to talk with her. Because of that trip, we prepared ourselves for the permanent farewell.
I had one co- worker who would constantly complain about her mother in law on a daily basis. Fortunately, I couldn’t relate. I consider myself lucky since I got along with my mother in law. From the beginning, she made me feel welcome in her family. She made my wedding bouquet out of silk flowers, which I still have to this day. When I was pregnant with my son, she referred to me carrying “precious cargo” and was there when I started to go into labor. Also, as an added bonus, she would always take my side if I had a disagreement with my husband, who happened to be her son.
Towards the end, she was in a lot of pain from all of her health issues. That part of the visit was hurtful to us all. However, her health issues were nothing new, but they escalated with each passing year. One positive thing that came out of witnessing this was it reminded me to take care of myself and my family. I made a promise to myself after the visit to do something healthy each day, for instance adding a salad to our meals, or making time to exercise.
We were told that when she had visitors at hospice, she would turn her attention to the corner of the room where no one was sitting. Was it a reaction to the pain medication or was she aware of another entity? I cannot say for sure, but she seemed to be calm during these times, and that fact alone gives me comfort. Maybe there is something to the belief that there is a guide to the afterlife, like in the show Touched by an Angel.